How to be better at getting better
Resolutions & downfalls
I have never been a lover of New Year’s resolutions. We tend to aim too high or put too much pressure on the meaning of a new year to better ourselves. That means that once we inevitably break the promises, we have set up a feeling of failure. That said, future reflection is excellent, but keeping expectations realistic is vital. Forcing yourself to go to the gym every day because a new year rolled around isn't realistic, because to our bodies, the days are continuous, and they aren’t going to defy their limitations just because a new year is upon us.
Growth and improvement don’t have a time zone, and what we define as improvement tends to define how and when we celebrate. I am willing to wager that you forgot to confetti yourself over numerous achievements last year, and there are accomplishments you made that you didn’t even see as accomplishments. If you manage to take that mental health walk once this month, then you still deserve praise. When we are feeling the need to be better, the pressure we put on ourselves can be the catalyst for our worsening. Instead of awarding gold medals for the six things we managed to do, we hand out penalties for the four we didn’t. Resolutions operate the same. We set an expectation too high, and when we don’t celebrate making it three-quarters of the way, we instead get mad at ourselves for not making it one hundred percent.
Let’s reframe resolutions right now. Instead of saying you ARE going to do something this year, tell yourself you’d LIKE to do something, and set achievable milestones you can follow without pressuring yourself. If you want to become a better writer, I will help you throughout this year, but we will not rush it, and we will celebrate every piece of writing as a win because every word you write is a step forward.
On your journey to getting better at anything, you will produce things you do not like, and not everything you make will be good. Step one is acceptance of this.
Step two is knowing that some days will be harder than others, and you'll feel like you’ve backtracked, but I assure you, you haven’t.
Step three is knowing when to stop, and realsing that forcing yourself forward will do more harm than good. Taking breaks and allowing yourself to rest are vital components of learning anything.
Recently, I did an interview where I spoke about creativity and the importance of having multiple creativities coexisting in your world at the same time. If you want to read the full interview, you can read it here, but I will quote myself below.
Creativity is beyond the arts; it’s more than making music, writing, dancing, or any form of art. Creativity is in survival; it’s the meal we cook for a loved one, it’s how we tell our friends we love them. It is helping the stranger across the street or helping somebody carry coffee to their table. The way we hold things can be a creativity. My father fixing a printer is a creativity, and if you ever had the chance to see it, I have no doubt you’d agree.
There are small practices we can embed into the everyday, step three would be to explore those.
As I stated, realism is the most crucial component. Don’t tell yourself you’ll write a two-page poem every day because after a week, this is likely going to become challenging to manage. However, if you say, "Every day, I am going to wake up and write a single line, construct a haiku, or write a metaphor," then this becomes something you can achieve consistently. You can then celebrate and be proud of yourself for completing your goals instead of barrelling into failure despite succeeding. This practice should be something you genuinely enjoy doing. I write a 3x3 every day because I enjoy writing them so much that it makes my consistent practice easier. If it feels like a chore, you won't be able to maintain it. Explore different mini practices that become daily rituals, and have other rituals that you do once a week or once a month. I make sure to go to a show every month, and I read a poem a day, but you could set the goal of two poems a week to begin, which brings us to the next step.
Step four is the intake. Take in your craft. Read, watch videos, and go to live events.
I learn so much from watching people perform, and even now, I will jump at the opportunity to attend a workshop designed for beginners because there is still so much to take away. Whatever you are learning, take it in.
Step five is to have fun with it.
Anything that stems from genuine enjoyment will stick around much longer. Whether you are just curious for now or truly dedicated, having fun within your craft will both make you better at your craft and give it a higher chance of immortality. Explore mediums and try new things. One of my favourite quotes of all time is from Hanif Abdurraqib, who said, “It is one thing to be good at what you do, and it is another thing to be good and bold enough to have fun while doing it.”
In summary, set yourself a reality. Don’t overextend your own expectations and celebrate every little step. We are not machines, we are human beings. We operate on unique operating systems, and what works for one might not work for another. You have to explore and find the right way for you to do something. Be gentle in the discovery, and if something doesn’t work, then that’s okay. Construct little practices, and if you miss a day, then remember that it doesn’t make you a failure, and ultimately, it doesn’t matter. Tomorrow is almost here; it’s never too late to start again.
Keep kind and stay true Woofenberry’s.
