Discover your true love language

Beyond the typical five

I have always struggled with friendship; my autism doesn't help, but there's something in the maintenance that I still haven't got a grip on. I am a straight line. I fly as all birds do. Over the houses, with a million distractions on the way, but overall, straight, straight, straight. When we discuss love language, there are the five documented types (words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch), but what undocumented love language do you speak? 

If you ask

Tyler Knott Gregson

, then he'll agree that our shared love language is bombardment. To many, this is too much; to the few, it is just enough. There is a challenge in existing with excitement over everything; those miracles we find in the mundane can be overwhelming to more than a few. I'm not a one hand on the wheel kind of friend. I'm the friend who wants to share everything. I’m a past bedtime, streetlight shadow sort of friend.

Hey, I saw this and thought of you! Did you know this? Look at this new dinosaur that was discovered. Do you think the collective noun for therapists would be a 'helping'? Look at this kitten I saw on the street. I tried this new coffee place and it was marvellous. Want to go to the beach and shout at the ocean? Maybe we can collect shells and make a shell garden. 

Despite the negative connotations associated with the term' bombardment,' this is me. I don't see it as negative, but instead a desire to give. I used to take pride in my loneliness, but now I take pride in my offering. Listening is both a watering and a language, and it is one I am most fluent in beyond anything I can speak. Forgiveness is another language. I believe everybody makes mistakes, reacts and becomes something they aren't from time to time, and you have to give room for such ghosts. Openly communicating how you feel and providing the space for people to explain or even apologise is vital. Love is an exorcism at times. We spend a lot of time expecting people to read our minds, but we are all oblivious to things, and we can't fix what we don't know is broken. 

I spend my life feeling like too much water and not enough hands. Despite my willingness to listen and give my time, I struggle to find people willing to relinquish their thirst. I make mistakes because I am human, I miss cues and can be unaware of my errors, but communication is a remedy. This is a frustrating process, but autism can make it hard to see certain things, and such blindness requires patience; not a great deal of people seem to have this these days. Each one of us is a unique collection of languages with nuances in even the ones we share. I believe our needs are the languages of the people we connect best with. Take Sav, for instance. One of her many languages is patience; her loudest and most fluent is her gentleness. And, gosh, I am a needer of both. Many hum my bird song, but tire of the whole record, yet somehow I am her favourite album, which to this day puzzles me.

We talk to each other even in our silences, the quiet of us speaks the loudest, and there is a frequency to nothingness. To coexist with someone with absolute comfort in the stillness is a remarkable thing. I struggle with the presence of people, and I can feel awkwardness or uncomfortable feelings in the way one might feel humidity. To share an atmosphere is to gamble my oxygen, but being able to breathe around a person is a magic unlike any other. Comfort is a language I continuously long to share. Tell me, what are the languages you speak and more so, what are the languages you long to be fluent in? I am still practicing self-gentleness but tripping over my tongue often. My favourite language right now is pride; I am finding so much to be proud of, and I am allowing myself the potential of an unburdened existence. If you are comfortable, I would love your thoughts and feelings on this. Please leave them below, and I shall see you very soon, Woofenberrys.

Keep kind & stay true x